„There‘s a lot of things you need to get across this universe. Warp drive… wormhole refractors… you know the thing you need most of all? You need a hand to hold.“ Doctor Who
There‘s a lot of things Doctor Who has been trying to teach us, for example how to properly pronounce Van Gogh‘s name or that time is all „Wibbly-Wobbly-Timey-Wimey“. But more importantly it teaches us about the miracle of human life. One of the beautiful thoughts of the show is how The Doctor offers you the chance to escape reality for an infinite amount of time without ever having to miss out on real life. And that‘s precisely how I feel about being in Honduras. Of course, time moves on back home because Chiminike is, well, not a time machine, but my life is still waiting for me. There‘s an unfinished copy of Jane Eyre still lying on my bed, there‘s the diary I started last spring but didn‘t bring to Honduras with me… so many little things that just patiently await my return. But being in Honduras, just like travelling with The Doctor, is amazing and crazy and weird, and it‘s all over way too soon.
As I may have mentioned before, I can‘t dance. It‘s not false modisty, my hips are just really confused and my brain doesn‘t grasp the concept of rhythm. So, I really don‘t know what got into me when I decided to be in the play Chiminike was doing for the World Water Day in march. I was a zombie and I had to dance – basically I was as unscary a zombie as there ever was!
But lucky enough for the play‘s quality I could only make it to one show and spent the rest of the weekend far away from Tegucigalpa in Copán where the Mayan ruins are. And here‘s the thing I don‘t get about Doctor Who. The Doctor takes people to the end of the universe, shows them some amazing burnt down city and they are so impressed about how some mighty civilisation could end so tragically; but my point is, you really don‘t have to go that far. It‘s maddening to think that those people were our superiors in so many ways and yet that didn‘t save their culture from falling. It just makes you realise how small we really are and how little we can do against the course of time. But then again, we can make things matter. After all, if it hadn‘t been for the Mayas who would have been scared of December 21st 2012?!
Last week my friend Tryg and I went all the way to Belize to renew our visas, and boy, was it ever a journey! Here‘s a very short summary: Saturday – bus from Tegucigalpa to San Pedro Sula, bus from San Pedro Sula to Puerto Cortes, bus from Puerto Cortes to Omoa, visit the fort in Omoa, stay the night, Sunday – bus from Omoa to Frontera, bus from Frontera to Puerto Barrios, boat from Puerto Barrios to Punta Gorda, find something that‘s open in Punta Gorda, stay the night in Punta Gorda, Monday – bus from Punta Gorda to Independence, boat from Indepence to Placencia, find the cheapest place to stay in Placencia, spend three nights in Placencia, then do it all in reverse! Also, do this with a non-functioning debit card and completely depend on your companion – it just adds a bit to the excitement! Seriously, though, Belize is beautiful. White beaches, palm trees, the warm Caribbean sea, rum & jam shots (please, don‘t try that at home!)… our first impression however was that of a minor culture shock. Coming from messy, loud Tegucigalpa, we didn‘t really know what to do with the sleepy town that is Punta Gorda. The streets were deserted and there were no beaches – we were close to just taking the next water taxi and return to Honduras!
Admittedly, I‘m probably the worst friend to go to the beach with! Not that I didn‘t enjoy it, just that two days in I started missing Tegucigalpa. I know it‘s an ugly place, but it has become home. I think in the end all our travels serve the one purpose to find a reason to stay – and that‘s probably my big conflict. If you have something worth staying, a place you feel like you belong, why would you ever leave? I felt very reluctant upon travelling to Honduras – precisely because I had everything I felt I needed in Switzerland. But I left anyway, and all I was looking for here as it seems, was just another reason to stay. I don‘t think that‘s the purpose of a gap year. I think you‘re supposed to go on an adventures and be free from everything that‘s holding you back… but instead I just found another home. Because apparently that‘s all I needed to begin with.
And when people ask me why I don‘t just stay another few months since it really is my decision, I realise that I‘m going to break my heart by choice. I‘m not going back to Switzerland because I have to, it‘s because I want to. Because I want to be there at my niece‘s first birthday, because I want to go to Germany in august, because I want to work on a new play, because I want to start university in september… realising that is the saddest part I think, because of course I also want to stay here and explain molecules and the digestive system and the water cycle and the moon to children!
Doctor Who says that all we need is a hand to hold. And even though every journey in time and space ends there is never anyone who doesn‘t have a hand to hold on to. He doesn‘t leave Rose without her family and he doesn‘t let go of River without giving her a Sonic Screwdriver.
So, I suppose for me there is only enjoying the ride all the way and holding onto whatever I‘m given!