I just wrote about this on my German blog this week, and it was so popular I thought I might as well discuss it on here: SEX!
A few years ago I had this wonderful friend who‘d had a baby at the sweet age of sixteen. Apparently it had happened because her ex-boyfriend really wanted to sleep with her until finally she gave in, even though she did not feel comfortable about it. I remember thinking to myself, how hard can it be to just say no?! But six years have passed since then and I‘ve come to realise that saying no is no easy option when it comes to people you care about. Now, I‘m not pregnant and no one ever pressured me into having sex with them, but we‘ve all at some point have felt this ever nagging feeling of not wanting to let somebody down.
The only person you can ever let down is yourself. Imagine somebody offers you a chocolate bar you don‘t like – will you eat it? No, probably not. Is anyone going to judge you? No – and why would they?!
To be fair, things are very different when it comes to sex. And one of the most urgent questions I‘ve been asked is, „Are you still a virgin?“ It‘s very tricky, because if you‘re under fifteen you should probably best answer with no, but if you‘re over sixteen you should definitely say yes! And that‘s just crappy, too. Being a virgin has nothing to with being ugly, boring or utterly unattractive. And at the same time, losing your virginity when you‘re thirteen doesn‘t mean you‘re a slut. I know people who have been in open sexual relationships, I know people who have one-night-stands all the time, and I know people who are in their late teens and who have never even kissed anyone, because they haven‘t met the right person yet. My point is, your virginity does not define you. Sex is like that chocolate bar – if you think you‘ll enjoy it, eat it. If it gives you the creeps, don‘t! And yeah, people will talk. But they do little else. And you know, self respect doesn‘t come from sleeping around, it comes from loving yourself. You‘re not going to love yourself more if you do things you don‘t feel comfortable about to start with. The only person that gets to be disappointed is you, and I think that‘s the one person you don‘t want to disappoint.