I don‘t know! I don‘t even know how I get people in general to like me, let alone men. There is no such thing as a reliable step-by-step tutorial on how to make a person fall in love with you.
Generally, the easiest way of getting somebody‘s attention is by being hot. Yup, it‘s that shallow! But what does that even mean? There must be guys who find botox and plastic surgery attractive, but I shudder at the thought of falling in love with someone who gets turned on by that! Then, there‘s also Irene Adler‘s definition from the second series of BBC Sherlock: „Brainy is the new sexy!“ There is not just one way to be hot, so don‘t try to be something you‘re uncomfortable with. I know that saying „just be yourself“ is old fashioned, cheesy and clichéy – but it‘s all those things for a reason. Of course John Green points out very correctly „…whose self would I otherwise be being?“, well, you can only ever be yourself, but then again, don‘t try to hide it. There is a poem by Shel Silverstein that goes:
She had blue skin
And so did he.
He kept it hid
And so did she.
They searched for blue
Their whole life through.
Then passed right by –
And never knew.
Take the person you like for example. Is he perfect in every way? Does he have smooth hair? Does he have blue eyes? Does he have a sixpack? Is he nice to his mum? Does he treat you like a queen? Does he want to get married and have babies? If we had to make a list of all the things our future better half has to be, we‘d never come to an end. And even if it‘s a short list, the answer to the first question will still probably be no. Maybe you‘ve always had a thing for blue eyes, but his are brown. In your head he still looks like the prince of heaven. And yes, maybe he is known to like freckles, but just because you don‘t have any doesn‘t mean you don‘t stand a chance. He‘s not actually the prince of heaven outside of your head, he‘s just another someone. And if he‘s the most popular boy ever, he‘s still just that: a boy.
Which leads me to the next point: talk to him! I should point out that my boyfriend experience is limited and I don‘t actually know what to say to guys when you want them to notice you. But always start off by saying hi. There‘s no harm in that. After a while you can throw some smalltalk in, find out a little more about his personality, etc. etc. And if after ages and ages of agony because he still doesn‘t know that to you he glitters in the sunshine, you have to tell him. I have only done this once and I must have been about thirteen, so it was a long time ago, but here‘s what I know from experience: It‘s nice to be liked. Even if the other person is not attracted to you, they will still be flattered. And just so you know, if somebody ever laughs at you for having feelings for them, that‘s just plain mean. Don‘t even bother being hurt by that!
So, there you go! That is all the cheesyness I‘m going to give you for today! I know talking is terrible if you‘re shy, but if you‘re a nice person, there is no way people will reject you out of hand. I once told a guy I wasn‘t attracted to muggles, or at least that‘s what he heard (don‘t remember what I was initially going to say) – take that for a charming conversation opener!
Chin up, buttercup! It‘ll be fine! 🙂
Ps. I used the masculine term for the fancied person here, but it should be pretty much the same principle whether you like guys, girls or sheep!