Those of you who have read my past blog posts will have gathered that my life has been quite busy recently. I have been out and about every weekend attending parties and other social events.
So seeing as I now have a couple of days without any plans I decided to use the time to write on a paper I have to hand in by the end of the break. Being a history major comes with a lot of reading and writing – not just the dissertation at the end of your studies, you‘re expected to write smaller analysises before that. So last week I sent the first one to my supervisor but instead of going out to celebrate this minor achievement, I stayed at my desk and started the entire process all over. After a couple of panicky e-mails to my supervisor yesterday as to how I should possibly figure out a main thesis, he patiently reminded me that we had already discussed this and that if I just had a look at my notes I would find that I had a solid thesis and only needed to start writing. To me, this is always the scariest part of the writing process: the actual writing. I spend weeks just reading and taking notes and thinking up good sentences, and whenever I finally sit down in front of my computer I feel so utterly lost. It‘s like packing for a long holiday when you can‘t shake off the feeling that you‘ve forgotten something very important. So today I put on my onesie and started writing an introduction but halfway through I realised that it was so terrible I opened a new document and wrote something even more dreadful, and after the third go I just opened up the first one again.
I love writing more than anything and it‘s definitely something I want to some day do for a living – but the image people have of me writing is just not true. Usually when I talk about having to write a paper or article my friends go, „But this is so easy for you – you‘ll have that written in no time!“ Well, duh! I spend hours staring into the screen with my mind going Write – Write something – Write ANYTHING – Write… maybe I should put on a bra, just to feel a bit more business-like – How would J.K. put this? – Come on, you little bitch, write! – ooh, a Facebook notification! – Aw, a puppy! – Okay, write! – I‘M BLUE DABBA-DEE-DABBA-DAH!
It is fair to say that I get easily distracted! Ironically enough I found this video by Giovanna Fletcher earlier today, and I must admit I went straight for the cupboard to dig for Nutella!
If anyone has a word of advice, I‘ll gladly take it! The only thing I successfully managed to do was to put a picture of Matt Smith on the wall that insists on me writing; to be honest, it scares me a little! And, I mean, I make progress; I‘m sure my supervisor will be very happy to hear that I have so far managed to quote one book, namely Groovy Greeks by Terry Deary. Sounds academic enough, right?
Lots of love from the roots of my heart!