During the festive season I always work in a local book shop which is massive loads of fun. I spend most of my time working at the gift wrapping station, sometimes I’m stood behind the check out, quite often giving useless advice to lost customers (did that lady ever find the restroom? We’ll never know…). I really love my job, it just never gets boring. For today’s post I decided to share some of the things with you that custormers have said to me over the years. Enjoy!
*Me, tearing off a price tag before wrapping the book up.*
Customer: What the heck are you doing?
*I show him the tag.*
Customer: Is this how much it costs in Euros? Why is it so much cheaper in Euros?!
Me: I don‘t know, I don‘t decide those things.
Customer: Well, I have you know that this is a crime!
Me: It sure is.
*I start to pull off another price tag on the other side of the book.*
Customer: What are you doing now?
*Again, I show him the tag.*
Customer: No, no, no, leave that on!
Me: But Sir, you can see the price on this!
Customer: Damn right you can. I want those bastards to know how much I spent on them!
Customer: What book can you recommend for a thirteen year old that doesn‘t like to read?
Me: Diary of a Whimpy Kid is really funny.
Customer: Does it have a deeper moral?
Me: I guess…?
Customer: I‘m going to ask a professional!
Customer: Have you been to Kiel? I met this sweet couple that lives there.
Me: Yes. It‘s very lovely. As is Hamburg.
Customer: I‘ve never been. But I really love Berlin. I go there every year.
Me: Well, Germany is a great country.
Customer: *shudders* Oh no, I don‘t like it at all. The people are just terrible!
Me: Yes, well, I have a lot of family there, so I guess they grew on me.
Customer: See, this would never happen to me, those folks are dreadful!
Customer: *showing me a pink book with hearts and glittery snow flakes on the cover* Do you think a boy would enjoy this, too?
Me: I don‘t see a reason why not, but it does seem to be designed for girls.
Customer: I DON‘T CARE, I WANT HIM TO READ WHATEVER IT IS I‘M GIVING TO HIM!
Customer: I have read almost all of the books you have on crime.
Me: Have you read The Cuckoo‘s Calling?
Me: *Suggestively* It‘s by the same author that wrote the Harry Potter series.
Customer: I HATE Harry Potter! Don‘t want to read it, don‘t want to watch it!
Not to mention the guy who got really upset because there was a queue at every single check out counter and we could not, by any means, provide him with a satisfying answer as to why. Or the woman who yelled at me because she «WANTED NO BLOODY CHRISTMAS PAPER, AND THESE ARE CLEARLY SANTA HATS THOSE PENGUINS ARE WEARING!» Completely my fault, I understand. She’s also «NEVER COMING BACK!» All because of me.
I feel very sorry for all the people who had to leave slightly upset because I didn’t laugh at their racist jokes or because my hand slipped while tying a bow. But I’m also insanely grateful for them because they make for a good laugh in the staff room.
I hope this made you laugh too!
Lots of Love from the Roots of my Heart!