Hello there, folks from the Internet! You see that button down here? If you press that button it’ll take you straight to my Instagram account. But before you go there, it would be wise for you to have a look at all the reasons why you shouldn’t do just that!
I’ve had Instagram for just over two years, and so far I’ve uploaded pictures without much thinking – until yesterday a porn account started following me! Eew! EEEEWW!
I blocked them, it’s all fine, they can go about their disgusting business elsewhere; but it did make me question all the pictures that I have uploaded, and so I went through them again last night. And, geez! – Okay, there is DEFINITELY NO PORN MATERIAL on my account! No skanky bikini pics, no videos of me taking a shower. – But, geez, WHY DO PEOPLE FOLLOW ME AT ALL? Who wants to see all that crap? If you were thinking of following my account, think again…
First of all, my name on Istagram (and Twitter at that) is _mimion_. When I created my account, a boy I liked always called me Mimi because of my double name Noemi Mirjam, and I felt super creative – which I obviously wasn’t because I had to use underlines in order to make that name work at all!
But the pictures… oh my! No really, OH MY!
The plushy animals selfies
Apparently, for quite a while I was really into wearing hats and posing with my stuffed toys. I even braided my hair, so I would look more like Anna!
I’m not Cinderella, this is the bathroom floor (the lighting was so much better there), and I was not in love. I had just bought new tights, and thought they were fabulous.
Me eating dessert
There is a disturbing amount of photographs that show me enjoying a cake or a waffle or a chocolate bread roll. THE WORLD NEEDED TO SEE THAT!
Everytime I start reading a new book I instantly post a picture of it on Instagram; as if a photo taken on my phone in the light of my bedside lamp is better in quality than anything you could find on the publisher’s site! As if you were really curious as to how my socks looked! You can’t read a single word on that picture! It’s so useless!
Oh, and here I didn’t really want to show anyone the book, I just needed a reason to post that I was in Paris. Thanks, Carrie!
I’m not really sorry about that because if you don’t think my dog playing hide and seek with me is THE CUTEST THING EVER, then the problem is entirely yours!
Me hugging Hondurans
To be fair, Hondurans are a very cuddly people – still doesn’t legitimise the racist remarks!
The comments really say enough, don’t you think? God, I must have been bored!
I’m not saying that I don’t want people to follow me! I’m just saying that you might be just a little out of your mind if you do. And if you’re not a porn producer or animal molester, there is a good chance I might actually follow you back.
So here’s a BIG RED BUTTON for you to press, and if you can resist the urge to do so right away, then CONGRATULATIONS! – Your mental health is complete!
Lots of love from the roots of my heart!
just to be very clear: I AM NOT A RACIST! I had a Honduran friend who actually introduced himself to me, saying «Hola, soy el Negro!» – My Instagram comment is an inside joke WHICH BOTH PEOPLE ON THE PHOTO THOUGHT WAS ACCEPTABLE!