SHADOWHUNTERS: a rant/loveletter

CAUTION: THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS. BIG FAT ONES.
DON’T SAY I DIDN’T, SAY I DIDN’T WARN YA!

tumblr_inline_nnqc0wvzsx1r0ou6i_540


It has been out in the open for over a year now, so I think it’s about time I spill my emotions: SHADOWHUNTERS. It’s a thing. Oh my, it’s a thing!


I have loved the Mortal Instruments series from day 1 – I can think of at least five people who had to read the books because of me. Literally, it was the only thing I talked about for months. It was Jace-this, Jace-that, and don’t you think Jace and Clary are purrfect for each other! And even when the series became annoying (I threw book six against the wall at some point, and yes, that did happen), and repetitive, and angsty, I stuck with it. Because even when those books are bad, they’re still pretty good. Like Belgian waffles with chocolate ice cream and smarties sprinkled on top. Pretty much the same goes for the latest movie adaption on Netflix: It’s a terrible Belgian waffle, but it’s still a Belgian waffle!

header

There are so many things disturbingly wrong with this series, I can’t even– I’m okay. *takes deep breath* Oookaay.

The first thing I will never understand is why producers don’t just stick to the original story. IT’S A GOOD STORY! See, I thought series one would equal book one, and so on, but boy, was I mistaken! Series one equals the first page of book one, the third chapter of book two, the end of book five, and the middle of book four. And in that order, too! ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME HATE YOU?!

read-the-book

And also: WHY DOES SIMON NOT GET TURNED INTO A STUPID RAT?! I loved that scene in the book, but neither the original movie nor the series has him turned into an animal. But sure, the flying motorcycle they take!

458e4498c4b26535d7daf85b3c4f4c70

Then there is Magnus Bane: Everyone – he’s throwing a party for his cat. That’s how he’s introduced. He doesn’t care about the stupid Mortal Cup, he’s not running from Valentine, HE’S PARTYING!

And since we’re right on topic: What the hell, Alec? Leaving a girl at the altar, that’s just too predictable. We all get his sense of duty, but come on! And what’s with the everlasting hate for Clary? Just give it a rest already.

Also, why is Luke not the owner of a bookshop?

And where is Sebastian in this weird mixed up world?

And why the *insert apropriate swear word* does Jocelyn die? Why was she back so soon? It wasn’t supposed to be easy waking her up after she took that potion. That was kind of the point, no?

Finally, where is the Jace I imagined? I’ve always pictured him to be something between Alex Pettyfer and Matt Czuchry with just a touch of Fra Fee; a very sweet looking, yet tough guy, who is hilariously sarcastic and self-indulged. Instead we were given someone who looks and acts like the member of a gang whose entire point of existence is beating the life out of anyone coming their way.

jace

Oh, and wait – a round of applause for the excellent quick wit of Clarissa Fray. Red haired, pale, freckled Clary asks a black Luke whether he is her real father. Maybe Magnus took a thought too many from her brain when treating her. #justsaying

applaus


But all of this is nothing compared to the emotional damage you carry away once you start LOVING THE SHOW! It’s by far better than the original motion picture, and I think this has largely to do with the choice of actors. They are more than perfect in their roles, even Dominic Sherwood has grown on me, and I mean, just look at the Lightwoods.

664020449ffb88fa1d280d9a3d0245f7

Look at them.

I never thought Alexander Lightwood’s beauty would one day cause my heart to break. DON’T WE ALL UNDERSTAND MAGNUS NOW? And on that note, HOW IS JACE NOT TURNING GAY? #listofthingsicantwrapmyheadaround

jalec

 And while I find it irritating that the plot doesn’t follow the original story line, it does add a certain suspense to the series. Things happen very unexpectedly, and I hate to admit it, but I want to know what happens next! Although, to be honest, most of the time it’s really the relationship between Magnus and Alec that has me keep watching. Have I mentioned that Matthew Daddario has the FACE OF AN ANGEL? It’s too beautiful for words!

malec

To sum it up: SHADOWHUNTERS is not a good show on so many levels, but it’s one that you’ll ultimately come to love. It takes you right back into the world of Nephilim and vampires and warlocks, and you’ll fall for Jace and Clary all over again. I mean, yes, there is that annoying background music that tries to draw out suspense CONSTANTLY, and the dialogues are… well, they are what they are. But then Magnus calls Clary „Biscuit“, and people kiss in every episode, and THIS SHOW MAKES THE WORLD STOP TURNING!

This show will destroy you.

You’ll love it.

Advertisements

Open Letter to My 15-Year Old Self

Binntal_001

Dear My 15-Year Old Self

I am writing to you tell you just how much I admire you. Going by the pictures, you are really serious about those pink-camouflage pants, and I think that deserves a salute.

I know that you are scared a lot because you feel different and most people don‘t seem to understand. All those nights lying awake and wondering, wondering how they can‘t see that you want to be just like them. Why don‘t they see how hard you are trying? How everytime you fall down you push yourself back up again? – But believe me, being different is not a bad thing. People will always laugh at you, they‘ll laugh at you for any reason. Whether you‘re too ordinary or you‘re too extravagant, they will always find something to mock you about. So be daring, and give them a jolly good reason to laugh. Be different, be ridiculous. Be everything that you are with a power that will knock them down.

So, I noticed you have bit of trouble finding your own style. To be honest, the pink-camouflage pants and the orange T-shirt with the stripes don‘t work very well together (but I‘m not going to mention it). The thing is that people outside of magazines rarely even have this thing called style. It‘s more like a disease, really. You don‘t have to become a demon-slaughtering shadowhunter to wear a leather jacket. You want that jacket, you go for it, girl! You want to wear smudgy black eyeliner and look mysterious? Just do it (although you will probably fail, but I‘m not going to mention it)! Everyday you can change who you are, don‘t you understand? You are not tied to one wardrobe or to one favourite boyband (and since we‘re on the topic, US5 are going to split up pretty darn soon anyway) or one version of yourself. You are never going to stop becoming yourself, because there will always be people leaving an imprint on your soul, places that change the way you look at the world and stories and that transform your thinking entirely. And girl, you are going places!

What is never going to falter is your love for books. Although I‘m glad to say that your taste in storytelling is. No, don‘t cry – Harry Potter and Jane Austen are always king and queen of your universe. But I wish you would stop believing you are Clary Fray. Honestly, that girl has a lot of issues. For a start, you do not need to have your first relationship when you are sixteen. You will, of course, but still; just take a moment here, all right? The guy you are going to meet is a real sweetheart, but he‘s not Jace. He‘s not the love of your life, no matter how hard you want him to be. Clary is a delusional idiot, made up by a desperate middle aged woman who probably has never had sex herself, so why do you think you need to live by the book? Write your own book, be your own superhero. There are more important things in life than having sex before you‘re seventeen and dating people that look like Richie Stringini (although he is pretty hot, I‘ll give you that!).

You are such a cool teenager, do you ever realise that? You read Charles Dickens for fun, your perfect night out is a Harry Potter midnight book launch, and you don‘t drink or do drugs. But I hate to break it to you, but soon that is not going to be you any more, so you might as well stop judging others for getting drunk on the weekends. You are going to love getting drunk! It‘ll take some time to gain control, but if you keep the people you love close to you, nothing bad will ever happen to you.

Growing up doesn‘t sound so bad now, does it? Responsibility is not such a sucky thing once you get the hang of it, you know? Sure, you have to make your own doctor‘s appointments and crying in public is frowned upon. But you still get to go to Disneyland and obsess over dinosaurs. Also, being grown-up means that you can spend all your money on chocolate AND THEN EAT IT ALL ON YOUR OWN! Being an adult, you don‘t stop loving certain things, you can just love them more openly, because you will stop caring what others think. And, OMG, guess what? Being a nerd is going to be totally cool! In fact, all those assholes that think calling you a geek is an insult, yeah, they are going to buy friggin‘ fake glasses to look smarter. And you, my sweet angel face, you are going to buy glasses to see better. Because you are already smart. Never think that being intelligent is a bad thing. Only stpuid people will let you believe that. Nope! Embrace your inner nerd with all your heart! 

You know what I love most about you, My 15-Year Old Self? You are on the verge of taking a massive leap into the unknown, and you are putting all of your heart and soul into it. I wish you would never stop doing that.
There are many moments of doubt still to come. You will find yourself crying on a bathroom floor more than once, and sometimes there will not be enough chocolate flavoured ice cream in the world to make you feel all right again. But I will tell you this: You are going to be happy, and you are going to be fine. You will always be surrounded by people who love you, and you will make many more people fall in love with you.

And finally: enjoy the Star Wars prequels while it lasts, because soon you will start to see Anakin for the whiny bastard he truly is and fall in love with Han. Also, don‘t cry because Tokio Hotel are not an item any more, you just haven‘t met One Direction yet. Also, the Sorting Hat puts you into Slytherin. Don‘t let it ruin your day, Draco is going to turn out so much hotter than Harry!

Unfortunately, 15-year old me, we have still not published our bestselling novel or saved the world from evil or married a prince. But we are in a good place. The kind of good place where on some days we go swimming in the Carribean, while on others the best thing that happens is somebody telling us that our dress is pretty. We are pretty amazing, you and I.

With love,
23-Year Old Me

Shit I Bought in London

Last week I was fortunate enough to visit London again. I went with my gorgeous friend Anna who you can find on her blog: www.tinytrinket.wordpress.com. It‘s a lovely little internet niche and you should totes have a look!

DSC08807

Because we have both visited England‘s capital a bunch of times we did hardly any sightseeing. Instead we drank lots of tea, ate cupcakes, went for strolls and got stuck in the shops. I‘m not much of a shopper when it comes to clothes, shoes and handbags. So when Anna tried on coats and blouses I checked out Primark‘s sock section; we went inside Topshop three times, but to even things out I dragged Anna to the Disney Store. So, as you can guess, most of the stuff I bought is utterly useless and unnecessary – but I just felt the physical need to stuff my suitcase with all the overpriced rubbish I could possibly find. Not. Regretting. Anything.

Princess Leia Mug

20160221_145950

I can‘t even begin to tell you just how excited I am about this mug! I mean, just look at the buns! Aren‘t they fabulous?!

Giant Crumpets

20160221_150041

I also bought regular ones, of course, but I could not resist the temptation of one massive chunk of happiness!

The Iron Trial (by Cassandra Clare & Holly Black)

IMG_20160221_150842

It was raining and we found shelter inside a Waterstones store, and oops-a-daisy I ended up buying a shitty YA Harry Potter rip-off with a romance twist, and I‘m really looking forward to reading it!

Harry Potter Jandals

20160221_150941

Looking back, I seriously can‘t remember why I bought these. I suppose I saw them and just held on to them without even checking the size.

Postcards

20160221_150714

Did I mention my love for crumpets? And check out this hamster, he‘s a real hero!

William & Kate Mug

20160221_151248

Strictly speaking this is some Shit-I-bought-in-Brighton-last-summer item, but it‘s terrible enough to get a mention here. I pretty much just scanned all the souvenir shops for the most dreadful mug and then bought it for myself. I greatly enjoy drinking out of it, though. It gives me a sensation of roalty.

Socks

20160221_150635

I have this very weird obsession with socks. I buy socks whenever I‘m bored because I have to wait for a train or someone is late meeting me. At least they keep my feet warm, so they are not completely useless.

Rapunzel Plush Doll

20160221_151120

Another weird thing I do is collect plushy Disney Princess dolls. Basically, everytime someone I know goes somewhere they have a Disney Store they have to bring me back one of these dolls.

Aluminium Foil

20160221_150236

There are cats on this foil. Sandwiches will never taste the same again!

Hummingbird Bakery Cupcake

DSC08832

I am a massive fan of the Hummingbird Bakery. I own two of their books, they make beautiful cupcakes and cakes and all other sorts of edible things. So naturally, when we passed one of their stores I had to go inside and treat myself. I bought their Blackbottom Cupcake which, technically, was absolutely delicious. But because we‘d just had a big lunch fifteen minutes before I was still stuffed. So for a day and a half I carried around a half eaten cupcake in the hope to eventually finishing it. Which I did, but by that time it was squashed.

I‘m going to end this list here, mainly because I do not want to appear like some weirdo who can‘t control herself. But also because I‘m stuck with the flu and looking at a screen for too long makes me all dizzy. I hope everyone‘s been having a lovely weekend!

Lots of love from the roots of my heart!
xxx

Ps. I ALMOST FORGOT! Remember how I went to Hannover a little while ago? Well, Inga made a small video (because she is that awesome) and that‘s my sole reason for creating a Youtube channel, so if you have three minutes to spare have a look at it!