I bought lipstick.
That is noteworthy news because the last time I did that was two years ago in Honduras, and then I only did it because I had a crush on this one boy. This time it went a little bit differently and I decided to walk you through my lipstick-shopping experience!
First, walk past a Superdrug store in Sheffield and remember that you’ve been meaning to buy a new lipstick (it’s been two years after all!)
Check the time – Yup, you’ve got half an hour to spare!
Be mildly shocked when, upon entering the store, you discover Zoella’s brand of beauty products. #thatsnotherquote
Realise there’s A HELLUVA LOT of lipstick to choose from. Run to the aisle with the cheapest brands.
Oh, you can buy three lipsticks for the price of two? That’ll save you six years of lipstick shopping! … **But you only really like the one colour.**
Smear some on your hand; instantly regret it because a) you can’t really tell how this is going to look on your face, and b) it won’t come off.
Finally go for the one that matches your glasses and has a funky name – Night Spot; everyone’ll love me! #wherethemboysat
Go back to Zoella and get the cheapest product for Inga. And when I say cheap I really mean cheap-ish. Also, hope that Inga has either already received the gift or doesn’t read this blog post until she has.
In search for a bathroom where you can apply your new baby (aka your freshly bought lipstick) you come across Waterstones.
You’re already in a bathroom, why not have a pee before you’re off again? #justsaying
Apply lipstick and take an awkward selfie. #amIreallypostingthis
You look pretty and have saved some money by not going fort he 3for2 option – buy yourself a book as a reward! Actually, spend all your money on books. Books are awesome!
Now take another awkward selfie and post it on Instagram. Pray people will not press Unfollow. #howcouldthey
And that, children, is how you buy lipstick!