Lipstick Haul

I bought lipstick.

That is noteworthy news because the last time I did that was two years ago in Honduras, and then I only did it because I had a crush on this one boy. This time it went a little bit differently and I decided to walk you through my lipstick-shopping experience!

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First, walk past a Superdrug store in Sheffield and remember that you’ve been meaning to buy a new lipstick (it’s been two years after all!)

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Check the time – Yup, you’ve got half an hour to spare!

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Be mildly shocked when, upon entering the store, you discover Zoella’s brand of beauty products. #thatsnotherquote

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Realise there’s A HELLUVA LOT of lipstick to choose from. Run to the aisle with the cheapest brands.

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Oh, you can buy three lipsticks for the price of two? That’ll save you six years of lipstick shopping! … **But you only really like the one colour.**

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Smear some on your hand; instantly regret it because a) you can’t really tell how this is going to look on your face, and b) it won’t come off.

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Finally go for the one that matches your glasses and has a funky name – Night Spot; everyone’ll love me! #wherethemboysat

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Go back to Zoella and get the cheapest product for Inga. And when I say cheap I really mean cheap-ish. Also, hope that Inga has either already received the gift or doesn’t read this blog post until she has.

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20160703_171643In search for a bathroom where you can apply your new baby (aka your freshly bought lipstick) you come across Waterstones.

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You’re already in a bathroom, why not have a pee before you’re off again? #justsaying

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Apply lipstick and take an awkward selfie. #amIreallypostingthis

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You look pretty and have saved some money by not going fort he 3for2 option – buy yourself a book as a reward! Actually, spend all your money on books. Books are awesome!

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Now take another awkward selfie and post it on Instagram. Pray people will not press Unfollow. #howcouldthey

Bildschirmfoto 2016-07-15 um 09.23.13And that, children, is how you buy lipstick!

xoxo

Why You Shouldn’t Follow Me On Instagram

Hello there, folks from the Internet! You see that button down here? If you press that button it’ll take you straight to my Instagram account. But before you go there, it would be wise for you to have a look at all the reasons why you shouldn’t do just that!

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I’ve had Instagram for just over two years, and so far I’ve uploaded pictures without much thinking – until yesterday a porn account started following me! Eew! EEEEWW!

I blocked them, it’s all fine, they can go about their disgusting business elsewhere; but it did make me question all the pictures that I have uploaded, and so I went through them again last night. And, geez! – Okay, there is DEFINITELY NO PORN MATERIAL on my account! No skanky bikini pics, no videos of me taking a shower. – But, geez, WHY DO PEOPLE FOLLOW ME AT ALL? Who wants to see all that crap? If you were thinking of following my account, think again…

First of all, my name on Istagram (and Twitter at that) is _mimion_. When I created my account, a boy I liked always called me Mimi because of my double name Noemi Mirjam, and I felt super creative – which I obviously wasn’t because I had to use underlines in order to make that name work at all!

But the pictures… oh my! No really, OH MY!

The plushy animals selfies

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Apparently, for quite a while I was really into wearing hats and posing with my stuffed toys. I even braided my hair, so I would look more like Anna!

My legs

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I’m not Cinderella, this is the bathroom floor (the lighting was so much better there), and I was not in love. I had just bought new tights, and thought they were fabulous.

Me eating dessert

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There is a disturbing amount of photographs that show me enjoying a cake or a waffle or a chocolate bread roll. THE WORLD NEEDED TO SEE THAT!

Books

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Everytime I start reading a new book I instantly post a picture of it on Instagram; as if a photo taken on my phone in the light of my bedside lamp is better in quality than anything you could find on the publisher’s site! As if you were really curious as to how my socks looked! You can’t read a single word on that picture! It’s so useless!

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Oh, and here I didn’t really want to show anyone the book, I just needed a reason to post that I was in Paris. Thanks, Carrie!

My dog

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I’m not really sorry about that because if you don’t think my dog playing hide and seek with me is THE CUTEST THING EVER, then the problem is entirely yours!

Me hugging Hondurans

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To be fair, Hondurans are a very cuddly people – still doesn’t legitimise the racist remarks!

THAT.

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The comments really say enough, don’t you think? God, I must have been bored!

I’m not saying that I don’t want people to follow me! I’m just saying that you might be just a little out of your mind if you do. And if you’re not a porn producer or animal molester, there is a good chance I might actually follow you back.

So here’s a BIG RED BUTTON for you to press, and if you can resist the urge to do so right away, then CONGRATULATIONS! – Your mental health is complete!

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Lots of love from the roots of my heart!
xxx

just to be very clear: I AM NOT A RACIST! I had a Honduran friend who actually introduced himself to me, saying «Hola, soy el Negro!» – My Instagram comment is an inside joke WHICH BOTH PEOPLE ON THE PHOTO THOUGHT WAS ACCEPTABLE!