SHADOWHUNTERS: a rant/loveletter

CAUTION: THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS. BIG FAT ONES.
DON’T SAY I DIDN’T, SAY I DIDN’T WARN YA!

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It has been out in the open for over a year now, so I think it’s about time I spill my emotions: SHADOWHUNTERS. It’s a thing. Oh my, it’s a thing!


I have loved the Mortal Instruments series from day 1 – I can think of at least five people who had to read the books because of me. Literally, it was the only thing I talked about for months. It was Jace-this, Jace-that, and don’t you think Jace and Clary are purrfect for each other! And even when the series became annoying (I threw book six against the wall at some point, and yes, that did happen), and repetitive, and angsty, I stuck with it. Because even when those books are bad, they’re still pretty good. Like Belgian waffles with chocolate ice cream and smarties sprinkled on top. Pretty much the same goes for the latest movie adaption on Netflix: It’s a terrible Belgian waffle, but it’s still a Belgian waffle!

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There are so many things disturbingly wrong with this series, I can’t even– I’m okay. *takes deep breath* Oookaay.

The first thing I will never understand is why producers don’t just stick to the original story. IT’S A GOOD STORY! See, I thought series one would equal book one, and so on, but boy, was I mistaken! Series one equals the first page of book one, the third chapter of book two, the end of book five, and the middle of book four. And in that order, too! ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME HATE YOU?!

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And also: WHY DOES SIMON NOT GET TURNED INTO A STUPID RAT?! I loved that scene in the book, but neither the original movie nor the series has him turned into an animal. But sure, the flying motorcycle they take!

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Then there is Magnus Bane: Everyone – he’s throwing a party for his cat. That’s how he’s introduced. He doesn’t care about the stupid Mortal Cup, he’s not running from Valentine, HE’S PARTYING!

And since we’re right on topic: What the hell, Alec? Leaving a girl at the altar, that’s just too predictable. We all get his sense of duty, but come on! And what’s with the everlasting hate for Clary? Just give it a rest already.

Also, why is Luke not the owner of a bookshop?

And where is Sebastian in this weird mixed up world?

And why the *insert apropriate swear word* does Jocelyn die? Why was she back so soon? It wasn’t supposed to be easy waking her up after she took that potion. That was kind of the point, no?

Finally, where is the Jace I imagined? I’ve always pictured him to be something between Alex Pettyfer and Matt Czuchry with just a touch of Fra Fee; a very sweet looking, yet tough guy, who is hilariously sarcastic and self-indulged. Instead we were given someone who looks and acts like the member of a gang whose entire point of existence is beating the life out of anyone coming their way.

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Oh, and wait – a round of applause for the excellent quick wit of Clarissa Fray. Red haired, pale, freckled Clary asks a black Luke whether he is her real father. Maybe Magnus took a thought too many from her brain when treating her. #justsaying

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But all of this is nothing compared to the emotional damage you carry away once you start LOVING THE SHOW! It’s by far better than the original motion picture, and I think this has largely to do with the choice of actors. They are more than perfect in their roles, even Dominic Sherwood has grown on me, and I mean, just look at the Lightwoods.

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Look at them.

I never thought Alexander Lightwood’s beauty would one day cause my heart to break. DON’T WE ALL UNDERSTAND MAGNUS NOW? And on that note, HOW IS JACE NOT TURNING GAY? #listofthingsicantwrapmyheadaround

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 And while I find it irritating that the plot doesn’t follow the original story line, it does add a certain suspense to the series. Things happen very unexpectedly, and I hate to admit it, but I want to know what happens next! Although, to be honest, most of the time it’s really the relationship between Magnus and Alec that has me keep watching. Have I mentioned that Matthew Daddario has the FACE OF AN ANGEL? It’s too beautiful for words!

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To sum it up: SHADOWHUNTERS is not a good show on so many levels, but it’s one that you’ll ultimately come to love. It takes you right back into the world of Nephilim and vampires and warlocks, and you’ll fall for Jace and Clary all over again. I mean, yes, there is that annoying background music that tries to draw out suspense CONSTANTLY, and the dialogues are… well, they are what they are. But then Magnus calls Clary „Biscuit“, and people kiss in every episode, and THIS SHOW MAKES THE WORLD STOP TURNING!

This show will destroy you.

You’ll love it.

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Sexy Books: After You by Jojo Moyes

Just read: After You by Jojo Moyes

Two words: Jojo Moyes!

Hasn’t she crushed everybody’s heart by creating Will Traynor! Seriously, have you ever fancied an arrogant quadriplegic so much?

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It took me a while but I finally got around to reading the sequel to Me Before YouAFTER YOU. I sort of had mixed feelings about that book before I started reading it, mainly because Me Before You has a really beautiful ending; it crushed my heart into tiny little pieces, but it ended very smoothly. And I worried that a sequel might just over do it. But then the last week of university happened and I failed miserably in an exam, so Corinne took me book shopping during our lunch break (you haven’t met Corinne – she loves books. And I’m pretty sure she won at the exam. She’s very smart. Anyway.) and I ended up with that book in my hand, and the blurb just had me:

Lou Clark has a lot of questions.

Like how it is she’s ended up working in an airport bar, spending every shift watching other people jet off to new places.

Or why the flat she’s owned for a year still doesn’t feel like home.

Whether her close-knit family can forgive her for what she did eighteen months ago.

And will she ever get over the love of her life.

What Lou does know for certain is that something hast o change.

Then, one night, it does.

But does the stranger on her doorsteps hold the answers Lou is searching for – or just more questions?

Close the door and life continues: simple, ordered, safe.

Open it and she risks everything.

But Lou once made a promise to live. And if she’s going to keep it, she hast o invite them in.

I spent two days in bed just swallowing this book up. I only cried once – from page 3 to 407! And I don’t mean I occasionally had to wipe away a tear or two, no – I was sobbing! Proper wailing! For hours!

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From what I’ve gathered by the comments on Goodreads, quite a few people are disappointed by After You because they feel it doesn’t do the prequel justice. The main problem, I think, is that the book doesn’t have a strong story line. There is not that much of an action filled plot, it’s the much more subtle story of how somebody might overcome grief. Grief is on every page, and it is reflected in so many different ways; and possibly if, like me, you’ve never experienced any grieving loss, it can get a little bit repetitive. But that didn’t make the story any less of a worthy sequel to me. I imagine grief would be quite repititive, too, so it felt like a very well developed scenario. The characters were all very 3-dimensional, they felt incredibly alive and real, and I fell in love with all of them.

And the beautiful thing is that, although the story is about loss and grief, it also has a very hopeful connotation. I mostly cried because there is so much love on these pages, so many reasons for the characters to want to stay alive. The Traynors, rich and cold and arrogant, loved their Will so much that they invite Lily, a wild, rude, chain-smoking sixteen-year old, into their lives with open arms and open hearts. Lily is such a key character. She basically takes the role Louisa had in Me Before You, whereas Lou is sort of stuck, just like Will used to be – except that she really has a choice of how to live her life. It’s the story of how Lou finds her real potential («Don’t say potential!») and starts living the life Will wanted her to live.

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I believe that this book is important also in the aspect of the topic it discusses. Assisted suicide is extremely controversial in almost every country, and it is one thing to talk about what makes a person opt for it and how they see it through, but it is equally important to talk about what happens next. What happens to the friends and familiy who were there, the ones that allowed it to happen? Do they feel like murderers? Are they treated as such?

In Switzerland, where I live, this really isn’t much of an issue. People decide to die with Dignitas or Exit all the time, and I’ve never heard anyone call their families murderers for being with them when they died. But it’s so important to note that in many places these are people’s sentiments exactly. And it’s so important to realise that Lou or the Traynors really had no say in this. What they are left with is intense grief and a sense of failure. Much like everyone else.

Get the tissues out, guys! You’re in for a snotty ride!

Lots of love from the roots of my heart!
xxx

Last But Not Least: Day Twenty-Two

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Our last day. I was wearing my favourite dress today, and it’s now damp and rumpled; a bit like we are. A bit tired and a bit ready to go home, and a bit sad-looking because we’re not ready to say good-bye. Not to those red doubledecker buses, not to the tea, not to the bookshops. Not to each other.

But, my friend, I have loved being on an adventure with you, loved it so much I wished it would never end. But I think you’re fast asleep, and it’s only another three minutes until tomorrow, and this diary is all that’s left of today. A bunch of words that fail to describe a feeling. Like trying to catch a beam of sunlight.

But, friend, I think we caught it.

So let’s just start again.

(Quote: John Green)

Here’s to all the places we went:

Day One: London
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Day Two: London
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Day Three: London
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Day Four: Winchester
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Day Five: Brighton
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Day Six: Stonehenge
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Day Seven: Oxford
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Day Eight: Stratford-Upon-Avon
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Day Nine: Bath
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Day Ten: Cardiff
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Day Eleven: Bristol
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Day Twelve: Cambridge
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Day Thirteen: Cambridge
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Day Fourteen: Norwich
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Day Fifteen: York
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Day Sixteen: Lincoln
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Day Seventeen: Durham
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Day Eighteen: Edinburgh
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Day Nineteen: Loch Ness
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Day Twenty: Glasgow
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Day Twenty-One: St. Andrews
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Day Twenty-Two: London
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Sexy Books: The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater (Part 2)

Just read: The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater

Caution: MINOR spoilers in this review – the biggest one, however, is about Cassandra Clare’s The Clockwork Princess (for some odd reason) – so don’t say I didn’t, say I didn’t warn ya!

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Finally being able to talk about this book in full length feels like peeing after holding it back for a very long bus drive. * awkward chirping in the background * ANYWAY!

Last time I wrote about The Raven King I could only talk about half the book (because I hid it in the wardrobe after 200 pages, so it wouldn’t stop me from passing my exams), and ended up fangirling over Ronan’s and Adam’s relationship – which I’m still not over, btw! But that really doesn’t do the book any justice AT ALL!

For years Gansey has been on a quest to find a lost king. One by one, he’s drawn others into this quest: Ronan, who steals from dreams; Adam, whose life is no longer his own; Noah, whose life is no longer a life; and Blue, who loves Gansey… and is certain she is destined to kill him.
Now the endgame has begun. Dreams and nightmares are converging. Love and loss are inseparable. And the quest refuses to be pinned to a path.

I’m recently finding endings to YA-series’ to be a bit of a let down. I feel like most authors are too attached to their characters to kill their heroes off or to have any character feel disappointed with the outcome of things. I mean, Cassandra Clare can’t be for real when she has Tessa end up with both Jem AND Will! Geez, that ending annoys me to this day! The thing about Maggie Stiefvater, however, is that she can make an ending cheesy, yet not unrealistically so. I cried at the end (as did Ronan), because it was so tragic and beautiful, and it cut my heart into tiny little pieces, and I NEED MORE OF THAT!

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The reason why pretty much every book written by Maggie Stiefvater, but this one especially, makes you feel so crushed by the time you turn the last page is her sincere observation of characters. The characters in the book are so unbelievably well developed,  they don’t just each play a part like characters in video games, they feel like actual people talking to you. And what’s more is that they develop further as the story goes on. This is the first book in which Blue actually remains decent throughout entire dates with Gansey (as opposed to her yelling at him for a) wearing boat shoes, b) lending a phone to his friend, c) trying to tell her that his parents are nice, loving people.) And that is also why everyone’s so in love with Adam and Ronan. It’s not because they are gay, it’s because seeing Ronan in love makes him likeable! You spend so much time with this bunch, they just grow on you, and it’s impossible to say good-bye!

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And then there’s the MOST DEVASTATINGLY GORGEOUS THING EVER, namely that Gansey and Blue aren’t allowed to kiss because her kiss would kill him. And it doesn’t make the romance between them any less endearing or sexy, in fact, when they finally do share a kiss it’s not the best part oft he story at all. It’s not a dramatic showdown, it’s just «a girl softly pressing her lips to a boy’s.» And then shit happens. But even though this is the moment everyone’s been waiting for (you didn’t seriously think Blue would die an old, unkissed spinster, did you?), every Blue-Gansey moment before that is so much more cherishable! Their secret late-night phone calls, their drives in Gansey’s car, their shared looks and their almost-but-not-quite-kissing, all that makes their relationship and their love for each other very real.

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To summarise: You will feel A HELLUVA LOT when reading this gem, starting with the cover! Every sentence is a bit of poetry and every word has a heartbeat.

Lots of love from the roots of my (still crushed) heart!
xxx

Sexy Books: The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater (Part 1)

Currently (not) reading (and slowly dying while doing so): The Raven King by Maggie Stiefvater

This is the first in a series of posts, so I apologise in advance for any future rambling/fangirling/drooling/word vomit on the matter. But we need to talk about this. Well, I do. Fine, as a matter of fact, I don’t because I’m sitting in a lecture at university right now, but «Slavia Latina» just doesn’t sound nearly as intriguing as THE RAVEN KING!

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I’m not lying, for the past five months I have been thinking about this book EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I did, I’m that bonkers. So naturally, it wasn’t until two weeks after it had been published that my bookshop sent it to me (I’d have complained but it’s my fave^^) – AAaaAarGHh, the AGONY!

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I’m halfway through, and it’s captured my mind and soul and haunts my dreams, and it’s been keeping me from getting, like, super important homework done. Last night I hid it in my wardrobe with the chocolate. That has been working pretty well in the sense that at least physically I’m not holding on to it. I just pretend it’s in Narnia. It’s fine. I’m fine. It’s only thirty more hours and I can finish ruining my life. Only thirty hours. That’s not much, right? *sobs hysterically into pillow*

The Raven King is, so far, my favourite in the series (but I’ve only read half the book). It’s beautiful and magical and FRIGGIN’ HEART SHATTERING! – to the person sitting behind me, are you bloody READING THIS?! … he just nodded. And grinned. Geez. IT’S NOT FUNNY, OKAY? STOP SMILING! – Anyway, okay, you know how the story is about Blue, and Blue has this curse that if she is to kiss her true love he will die, and then she meets Gansey, who is a total babe, and it’s all super sexy because they can’t make out, so it’s all teasing and cute!

I thought they were the definition of AWESOME! And now, after three books and two hundred and forty three pages, I’ve realised that ADAM AND RONAN ARE GAY AND IN LOVE!

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Adam and Ronan. Ronan and Adam. This is it. I’m done. Can’t handle it any longer. This is perfect. OH, THE FEELS!

I’m so slow – for the past year or so everytime I encountered Ronan/Adam fanfiction or drawings or any sort of implication that they might be more than just friends I blindly assumed this was a new trend people followed. Like Johnlock. To be fair, I was also surprised to find out that Clary and Jace had the hots for each other. Detecting romance might just not be my strong side.

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Okay, that’s it. Super Important Homework is waiting. Actually, now that I’ve just wasted an hour barfing my brain’s contents on my blog, it’s Super Duper Important Homework.

Bye.

My Weird Obsession With Dinosaurs

It’s confession time! I don’t know why I have the urge to talk about this now, but I think I need to come clean at some point anyway: I have a weird obsession with dionsaurs. *awkward background chirping*
To be fair, who doesn’t! Dinosaurs are awesome – they are real life dragons, they are massive, and evolution turned them into FRIGGIN’ CUTE LIL BIRDS! Way to go, T-Rex!

My love for dinosaurs derives from the children’s movie series The Land Before Time – whose hero Littlefoot was as much a rolemodel to me as Snow White or Aladdin (I thought he was a babe!). Every toy dinosaur I owned was essentially called Littlefoot because Littlefoot is not only bloody cute, he’s also very loyal and wise and good with the advice. I mean…

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Please bare with me on this post, I feel like it’s 99% a virtual word vomit.

I think it’s fairly alright for a child to obsess over things – I did, after all, discuss at length the beauty of Eragon’s hair with a twelve-year old recently. But I can’t deny that I have a slight tendency to go over the top. I pretty much forced my friends to visit the dinosaur museum in Switzerland when I was sixteen and made them take all sorts of ridiculous photographs  of me posing with the fossils. I’m pretty sure they’re still hating me for this.

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But, it’s just – there are so many great movies about dinosaurs! Growing up, every other movie was a dinosaur movie: The Land Before Time, Dinosaur, Dinotopia, Dawn oft he Dinosaurs, One of our Dinosaurs is Missing – and it is totally legitimate to watch The Good Dinosaur while waxing your legs! I AM THE EQUIVALENT OF ROSS GELLER, DON’T JUDGE ME! I’m just not as smart. My knowledge about dinosaurs ends with the distinction between T-Rex and the rest of ’em.

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I have a dinosaur sticker on my glasses and I just ordered an inflatable dinosaur to take swimming with me in the summer, and that’s a little insane, and that’s okay. I bet you have a weird obsession, something that makes your heart beat faster and that gets you excited. We should all be excited more often, it makes for a happier place.

Also, if history repeats itself, then I am SO getting a dinosaur!

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Lots of love from the roots of my heart!
xxx

Meet: Anna

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Anna in three words: Reliable, Funny, Thoughtful
Anna’s dream dinner party guests: The Queen, Matt Bellamy, J.K. Rowling
Anna’s favourite post: 10 Years of Lovely Letters
Anna reads: Top with Cinnamon

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Hello lovey-dovey folks! ’tis I, Noemi, and I am so excited to introduce you to one of my favourite bloggers, Anna! Some of you already met her when we were doing Blogmas together; so of course I could not resist and asked her for an interview. She did a really good job, as you’ll see, so pop over to her Blog and say hi.

Anna and I met in High School seven years ago where we were friendly but not friends. We had, however, the same two best friends, and they decided to leave us in the gutter and go on exchange. You can see where this is going, right? Around that time I had just discovered my love for James Blunt and when I found out he was doing a concert in Switzerland I wanted to go so bad! Alas, my best friend was busy partying in the US – BUT ANNA WASN’T! She agreed to go, and I in turn wound up going to a Hurts concert with her. Actually, she’s dragged me to at least three – but thus, our friendship was born. Heart warming, isn’t it?

Anna’s blog is called Tiny Trinket and it launched in 2014. It contains the bits and bobs of everyday life, thoughts and inspirations that haunt every twenty-year old, cat loving journalism student. She loves writing without having any reason to do so; and when you study something as fancy as JOURNALISM AND ORGANISATIONAL COMMUNICATION you are probably given LOADS of reasons to write, and I bet they’re not all as entertaining as observations of people at the gym or tellings of easter adventures at chocolate factories! On her little internet niche Anna is free to ramble, and she loves it!

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Anna, apart from writing beautifully, is an amazing baker. In fact, I’ve already hired her to make the cake at my wedding (who needs a husband when there’s cake, right?). Back in High School we only had two classes together, and I remember those wednesday mornings in history, when she’d present me golden cupcakes and raspberry slices. She really made me love history classes! In the future Anna would love to post more recipes, and when she does I’ll volunteer to be the test eater and review them!

If Anna had the entire world’s attention for just one minute she would tell people to stop fighting over economic interests or religion. Afterwards she’d blush to a tomato sort of red because the entire world is watching her, and then she’d blush even more because she’s blushing, and then… well, you get the picture! Anna is all for the world being a brighter place, which is why she would love for Harry Potter to come to life. He fights for a good cause, doesn’t he! (although The Independent did call him a «whiny sprog whose main achievement is not dying» … lol… what?)

Every summer Anna goes somewhere new with the friends she met when doing equestrian vaulting (that’s right, she can do friggin’ stunts while being on a horse!). Some of her favourite memories derive from these travels; for example that one time in Prague when they came out of a club at five in the morning and it was raining so hard they had to take off their shoes, and they ran through the Old Town back to the hostel, laughing all the way. Another time the girls were backpacking in Ireland and had an AMAZING meal in Letterfrack. Anna just remembers being so, so hungry after an entire day of cycling, and that pasta tasted, in John Green’s words, «like God Himself cooked heaven into a series of five dishes»!

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Anna’s just this really sweet person, wrapped up in smiles and bubbliness and all things pretty. She is the personification of a tiny trinket! And she can throw around smart expressions like no one – I asked her what her favourite word was, and it’s «Endoplasmic Reticulum». Try and bring that up in a conversation!

I love Anna and I love her blog, and you, too, should go give her some L-O-V-E! (and now I’ve got One Direction stuck in my head – «well if it was me/I wooouuuld!»)

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Lots of love from the roots of my heart!
xxx

Sexy Books: The White Goddess by Simon Gough

Just read: The White Goddess: An Encounter by Simon Gough

 Just to be clear, when I say «Just read» I really mean that I read this book over a period of seven months. Does this tell you enough?

I bought it at Blackwell’s in Oxford last summer, and if you don’t know Blackwell’s, it’s a gigantic book store and they had the BRILLIANT idea of offering their customers blind dates with books. They wrap the books up and write a little something about them on the paper, and you choose one that sounds appealing to you. That way you don’t judge the books by its cover. They also don’t give you the blurb but really just tell you why it is awesome. So I put total faith in the booksellers and ended up with Simon Goughs memoir.

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«When 10-year-old Simon Gough went to Majorca in 1953 he thought he had landed in paradise. Far from the misery of his English boarding school and his parent’s divorce, he fell in love – with the tiny village of Deya, with his wild cousin Juan and most of all with his beloved ”Grand-Uncle” Robert Graves.

When he returned in 1960, paradise had been overrun by beatniks and marijuana – and Simon liked it all the more. But soon he fell for the enchanting Margot Callas, Robert Graves’ muse. He found himself entangled in a web of lies and deceit and playing a game whose rules he didn’t understand. The repercussions would haunt him for the rest of his life.

The White Goddess: An Encounter is a mesmerising tale of sex, lies and divided loyalties. Set between the magic of a bohemian Majorca and the horror of Franco’s Madrid, it is a haunting evocation of a lost time and place, dominated by the extraordinary power of Robert Graves, one of the 20th century’s greatest writers.»

There were some very intriguing things about this book. First of all, it’s really a memoir but it is written in the style of a novel. It’s very captivating at first and fort he first 162 pages it’s impossible to put down. That is because the first part of the book (162 pages) describes Simon’s childhood when he visited his uncle in Majorca. It all feels very surreal and insane and beautiful. It takes you right to Spain and makes you crave the ocean and paella and crazy relatives. (and I don’t even like paella all that much. But after reading this I can’t stop thinking about it!)

The only thing wrong with the book is that the author didn’t finish the book there. Oh no, seven years later he’s back, an angst ridden teenager, filled to the brim with hormones and uncontrollable lust. AND OF COURSE HE FALLS IN LOVE! Oh, and not just with any girl, nope! His heart’s desire is his grand-uncle’s twenty-four year old lover! Feel disgusted yet?

As you can probably guess, Margot (the girl’s name) and Simon have a somewhat complicated relationship. They each start living in Madrid and they hang out from time to time, and whenever they don’t he turns into Bella Swan. You know, Spain was under dictatorship at the time, you’d think there were more things to worry about. Nah, Simon only cares about why Margot will not comply to his clinginess.

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It just got way too much for me and I had to pick up something else to read. I mean, seriously, at one point he rips a corpse’s head off and gives it to Margot as a symbol of his undying love for her. What… WHY?! Is this a guy thing? – Boys, never ever under any circumstances give me a human head! I’ll go out with you for chocolates, I swear!
Why I kept reading I’ll never know.

This incident aside, the most disturbing part for me, was the end. See, now I’m torn between bringing on the spoilers and letting people find out for themselves. I’ll cut it short: Margot runs off, Simon gets in a fight with his uncle, the end. ALL THAT DRAMA AND HE DOESN’T EVEN GET THE GIRL! Damn it, Simon!

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I have been holding all that in for quite some time, believe me! On the plus side, there are some characters that made it worth my time. For instance, Beryl, Simon’s aunt. She’s just so down to earth and sweet and kind, and geez, that woman is patient! She doesn’t mind the least that her husband is having an affair with this young bimbo. He calls Margot his «Muse» and she totally goes along with it. And then there’s also Stella, some girl who spends her holidays in Majorca, and she said what I kept thinking the entire time: «It’s better than moping around like a love-sick idiot,» she retorted. «You’re quite a pair, you and Robert, both pining after the same woman – sorry –goddess–!» Oooh, burnn!

Well, I think Simon should have gone after Stella. The two or three times she appeared she seemed very cool and grounded, and, man, I wish there was a book about her instead!

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I need to stop now because I could rant on forever and ever, and then I’d miss my lecture, and then I would not know enough about the exciting world of Slavic philology.

Have a good rest of the week everybody!
Lots of love from the roots of my heart,
xxx

The header image has nothing to do with the book. I just like Sangria (and it’s Spanish, that counts, right?)

Last But Not Least: Day Eleven

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I never knew I liked cider. Until today.
It’s only cider, but it puts my life upside down. Well, maybe not exactly upside down. Maybe it just shook the ground I built my life on a little bit. Like a tiny, drunk earthquake. What if cider is not the only thing I thought tasted awful but actually turns out tob e rather delicious? Didn’t I have the same epiphany with ginger ale in Matamata two summers ago? What about all the books I promised myself never to read? It scares me that some day in boredom I might pick up a copy of Shades of Grey and like it!

It’s really weird to love something I swore to hate. It makes me want to raise my glass to changes of the heart, to second impressions and to my mind doing its best not to be set on one opinion. Cheers to the earthquakes that make me think.

Sunshine Blogger Award

Hey there fellow bloggers, how’s it going? I have been nominated by Faith from Sublime Reads for the Sunshine Blogger Award! Thank you very much! 🙂 I got to answer a bunch of amazing questions, and I pray you don’t find the answers too disturbing (they may be a little. it’s what you want. let it happen).

Rules:

  • Thank the person who nominated you
  • Answer the 11 questions you were asked
  • Nominate 11 other bloggers
  • Ask the nominees 11 questions

Here we go:

1. Congratulations! Thanks to Voldemort, you now somehow permanently look exactly like him. You’re forced into writing him a Thank You card. What does it say?

To his excellency, The Man Who Let The Boy Live. The Dark Lord. Our Evil Master.

Thank you, good Sir, for giving me that precious face of yours. I will admit that it is indeed not what I have been dreaming of all throughout my teenage years when I desperately wanted to be a princess. But having your face and accepting it as my own has truly given my life a new significance and made me realise that you, evilest of evil, are not all that different from a princess. I found your tiara, and it‘s pretty. But, oh Lord, riddle me this: where do you buy your fabulous robes? And do you reckon they would have them in pink as well, as to match the tiara?

Cheers, Volders! I am indepted to you forevermore! xoxo

2. What does the air currently smell like where you are? Describe it while fitting in the word “hairy” somewhere along the way.

It smellls of English Breakfast Tea and my cat‘s body odour and the delicious shampoo I put on my hairy sculp this morning.

3. What are 3 things that make you laugh?

1: Recently my friend Nadine has been making me laugh by repeatedly telling me of her shopping experience at a clothing store called Ciolina (it was as magical as it was disturbing).
2: Princess Consuela Bananahammock. (Need I say more?)
3: My brothaa! We‘re really funny but I‘m starting to think that we‘re the only ones feeling it. Which, you know, is even more fun.

4. If you were a son/daughter of ___________ at Camp Half Blood, what kind of pranks would you pull? (If you’re somehow living under the Earth’s tectonic plates and you’re unfamiliar with Camp Half Blood, tell us your thoughts about the Percy Jackson books even if you haven’t read them.)

Yeah, look, sadly and much to my shame I have NEVER read or seen Percy Jackson. I‘ve been meaning to for the past five years, and I am getting really desperate to find out who Anabeth is (that‘s her name, right? There‘s a thing called Percybeth, am I right?!) and to dive into the depth of this fandom; maybe I‘ll start reading it when I‘m a hundred something and ready to say good-bye to life anyway. On second thought, maybe I‘ll start this summer.

haters

5. Type as much as you can about one of these topics: your life/your first impression of blobfish/the first thing that comes into your mind in 6 seconds. Keep in the grammar & spelling mistakes and show us what you’ve got!

omg is that donald trump nakef

*do I literally type this slowly?! I had so many more thoughts to share on blobfish!*

6. Share your favourite joke.

What do you call a black person flying a plane? – A pilot, you racist!

7. What’s the first thing that comes into your mind right now? It can be anything! Here, I’ll give you 3 seconds… great! Whatever you thought of is now related to how your favourite villain or most despised character had died – write about it.

Grapefruit! Don‘t ask me why. And of course Dolores Umbridge loves a bitter old grapefruit with its pink interior matching her own pink costumes. She consumes all the bitterness of this fruit, and thrives on it. J.K. never talks about it in the books, but when whenever she‘s alone in her office she stuffs herself with grapefruits and it makes her evil and happy, and she even convinces Voldemort to try a grapefruit diet, and they live happily ever after (until he dies and she chokes on her own medicine). The End.

8. Try to fit in as many stereotypes about your own country as you can while talking about books.

One of my favourite books is The Lord of the Rings, and I especially love the part where they walk through the mountains and Legolas casually walks on the snow while everyone else is kinda stuck in it. And you know how all the way to Mordor those guys just keep yodelling? (I‘m sure that‘s what it sounded like!) My other fave is Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban where the kids are forced by the school nurse to eat chocolate! And not to mention Heidi! If you‘ve never read that book you have failed in your literary life because that story may be cheesy, but it will reduce you to tears and tear your soul apart!

9. Tell me, what did Shakespeare shake? Bonus: If you can, quote something from Shakespeare from the top of your head.

He shook some mad grapefruit juice for Umbridge to shut her up, and he shouted happily: «The rest is silence!»

10.  Are you left-handed or right-handed or ambidextrous or another breed of human? (An extraterrestrial, perhaps? )

I‘m right handed and absolutely incapable of doing anything with my left hand. I just have it for the looks.

11. Would you rather get free chocolate every time you get a paper cut or automatically get a free full-proof pass in making someone’s day whenever you read a not-so-great book?

YESSS!

Now I‘m allowed to make up my own questions! Brace yourselves!

  1. Would you rather drink wine with Lord Voldemort (aka Tom Riddle) in his Chamber of Secrets during the sexy ages, or paint mandalas with Professor Snape in a therapeutic session to cure passive-aggressive behaviour?
  2. Who is your bookish best friend?
  3. If you had a book quote tattoo which quote would you pick?
  4. Turn The Hobbit into a hardcore feminist version. What‘s the title? And what happens in the story?
  5. Who are your three dream dinner party guests?
  6. Do you think the seventh sentence on page 77 of the book you are currently reading describes your purpose of existence well?
  7. Imagine you just drank the love potion intended for someone else yourself, and now you‘re in love with your own face. Write yourself a love letter!
  8. Which is your favourite bookstore?
  9. What do you think (or rather, hope!) John Green‘s new book is about?
  10. What book was the cause for your last book hangover?
  11. Do you have a literary mug? If so, what does it say? And if not, what should it say?

An Award for the sexy noodles of the blogging sphere:

Anna from Tiny Trinket
Caitlin from Caitlin Versus Words
John from Storytime with John
Deliah and Lara from Halfway to Broadway
Jonathan and Aaron from Husband & Husband
The girl behind Stash Matters whose name I didn’t quite catch (sorry!)
Allie from Allie’s Life
Khloe Nicole from Domino Effect of Life
Juan-Paul from My Husband & I
Lily from The Lily Notepad
Kat from Book Box by Kat

At this point I’m just going to quote Faith because I was gonna say this anyway, and she already put this so nicely:
«If you feel sad because you don’t see yourself already tagged, just tell me if you want to do this and I’ll add you right onto this list! If you’re one of the “usuals” that we tag/you already have A TONNN on your shoulders, then please don’t feel obliged to answer these questions because SOMETIMES IT’S PRESSURING. And I get it. STRESS AND LAZINESS: I admire your ever-unrelenting persistence. (Maybe if I worked as hard as these guys, I’d actually BE SOMEWHERE. But then again, this is a super ironic statement.) So whatever it is you’re doing, here’s a smile, a hug, and some freshly baked internet cookies! Or better yet, ICE CREAM COOKIE SANDWICHES.»