Sexy Books: Return of the Jedi by James Kahn

Just read: Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi by James Kahn

Hello lovely folks! After having read the amazing novelisation of Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back I could not resist and bought the sequel, The Return of the Jedi. I‘m so sure you know the plot already but there are people, such as my mum, who only know that it‘s about hot guys fighting each other in outer space. So here comes the blurb:

«Han Solo, frozen in carbonite, has been delivered into the hands of the vile gangster Jabba the Hutt. Determined to rescue him, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and Lando Calrissian launch a hazardous mission against Jabba‘s Tattooine stronghold.
At the same time, Darth Vader and the Emperor have ordered – and begun – construction on a new and even more powerful Death Star. Their goal: to crush the Rebel Alliance once and for all. The only hope for the Rebellion is to gather all the warships of the Rebel fleet into a single giant armada… and launch a heroic, last-ditch assault on the most deadly battle station in the galaxy.»

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I must say that it was a bit of a disappointment this time; I still had fun reading it, but there were a few very typical novelisation errors in it that made me downgrade it. For example, the author has this annoying habit of constantly spelling out what R2-D2 and Chewbacca are saying, and not to be disrespectful towards their languages or anything, but who understands that?!

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Well, at least he tried! Another bummer is how whiny Leia appears. She cries all the time, especially when Han Solo says something nice. She acts like the utter overly-attached girlfriend, unwilling to let him out of her sight at all. Get a grip, girl! She has also stopped calling him «Hot Shot» – why?! That was such a great nickname for him! And Han Solo, he is acting like a dominant, abusing asshole! (maybe that‘s why?) After Luke reveals to Leia that she‘s his twin sister Han storms after her and starts shaking her while she‘s already sobbing for, like, minutes on end! And in the end when he finally learns the truth he doesn‘t just kiss her like he did in the movie, oh no! – He pushes her into the bushes in spite of her being injured – I realise he‘s trying to express his love, but that just seems a little aggressive! On the other hand, book Han and Leia are pretty much bound to create an angsty brat like Kylo Ren.

What I loved was how Darth Vader refers to Luke as «his boy». I mean – aaw! That is a whole new universe of cuteness!

Bild 21lukiAnd I must actually say that book Luke is a lot more badass than movie Luke. He doesn‘t do anything more, but following his trail of thought you can actually decipher all the conflict that must be going on inside of him. In the movie he appears to never even consider going over to the dark side, whereas in the book he falters more than once. And after all the terrible things Darth Vader has done to him and his friends, Luke only suggests that this is the darkness driving him and not actually Anakin Skywalker himself (who he considers to still be good). Could we say the same thing about terrorists and dictators? Being able to forgive him like that, that demands a lot of heart and courage. And that makes Luke some seriously cool person!

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Also he gives this really beautiful anti-war speech:

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Lastly, the author did a great job in actually somewhat valuing Leia‘s past. Her entire planet has been blown up, that‘s all of her family dead, all of her friends, everything she loved is just gone – yet, somehow Luke manages to get more sympathy for his dead mentor throughout the entire saga. Leia‘s grief is mentioned in several parts in the book, though, and we even learn a little bit about her early childhood (like the fact that she used to have a wookiee doll – aaaw!).

Thankfully last month uni has started again and I‘m forced to concentrate my nerd soul on more sophisticated reading.

Lots of love from the roots of my heart!
xxx

Open Letter to My 15-Year Old Self

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Dear My 15-Year Old Self

I am writing to you tell you just how much I admire you. Going by the pictures, you are really serious about those pink-camouflage pants, and I think that deserves a salute.

I know that you are scared a lot because you feel different and most people don‘t seem to understand. All those nights lying awake and wondering, wondering how they can‘t see that you want to be just like them. Why don‘t they see how hard you are trying? How everytime you fall down you push yourself back up again? – But believe me, being different is not a bad thing. People will always laugh at you, they‘ll laugh at you for any reason. Whether you‘re too ordinary or you‘re too extravagant, they will always find something to mock you about. So be daring, and give them a jolly good reason to laugh. Be different, be ridiculous. Be everything that you are with a power that will knock them down.

So, I noticed you have bit of trouble finding your own style. To be honest, the pink-camouflage pants and the orange T-shirt with the stripes don‘t work very well together (but I‘m not going to mention it). The thing is that people outside of magazines rarely even have this thing called style. It‘s more like a disease, really. You don‘t have to become a demon-slaughtering shadowhunter to wear a leather jacket. You want that jacket, you go for it, girl! You want to wear smudgy black eyeliner and look mysterious? Just do it (although you will probably fail, but I‘m not going to mention it)! Everyday you can change who you are, don‘t you understand? You are not tied to one wardrobe or to one favourite boyband (and since we‘re on the topic, US5 are going to split up pretty darn soon anyway) or one version of yourself. You are never going to stop becoming yourself, because there will always be people leaving an imprint on your soul, places that change the way you look at the world and stories and that transform your thinking entirely. And girl, you are going places!

What is never going to falter is your love for books. Although I‘m glad to say that your taste in storytelling is. No, don‘t cry – Harry Potter and Jane Austen are always king and queen of your universe. But I wish you would stop believing you are Clary Fray. Honestly, that girl has a lot of issues. For a start, you do not need to have your first relationship when you are sixteen. You will, of course, but still; just take a moment here, all right? The guy you are going to meet is a real sweetheart, but he‘s not Jace. He‘s not the love of your life, no matter how hard you want him to be. Clary is a delusional idiot, made up by a desperate middle aged woman who probably has never had sex herself, so why do you think you need to live by the book? Write your own book, be your own superhero. There are more important things in life than having sex before you‘re seventeen and dating people that look like Richie Stringini (although he is pretty hot, I‘ll give you that!).

You are such a cool teenager, do you ever realise that? You read Charles Dickens for fun, your perfect night out is a Harry Potter midnight book launch, and you don‘t drink or do drugs. But I hate to break it to you, but soon that is not going to be you any more, so you might as well stop judging others for getting drunk on the weekends. You are going to love getting drunk! It‘ll take some time to gain control, but if you keep the people you love close to you, nothing bad will ever happen to you.

Growing up doesn‘t sound so bad now, does it? Responsibility is not such a sucky thing once you get the hang of it, you know? Sure, you have to make your own doctor‘s appointments and crying in public is frowned upon. But you still get to go to Disneyland and obsess over dinosaurs. Also, being grown-up means that you can spend all your money on chocolate AND THEN EAT IT ALL ON YOUR OWN! Being an adult, you don‘t stop loving certain things, you can just love them more openly, because you will stop caring what others think. And, OMG, guess what? Being a nerd is going to be totally cool! In fact, all those assholes that think calling you a geek is an insult, yeah, they are going to buy friggin‘ fake glasses to look smarter. And you, my sweet angel face, you are going to buy glasses to see better. Because you are already smart. Never think that being intelligent is a bad thing. Only stpuid people will let you believe that. Nope! Embrace your inner nerd with all your heart! 

You know what I love most about you, My 15-Year Old Self? You are on the verge of taking a massive leap into the unknown, and you are putting all of your heart and soul into it. I wish you would never stop doing that.
There are many moments of doubt still to come. You will find yourself crying on a bathroom floor more than once, and sometimes there will not be enough chocolate flavoured ice cream in the world to make you feel all right again. But I will tell you this: You are going to be happy, and you are going to be fine. You will always be surrounded by people who love you, and you will make many more people fall in love with you.

And finally: enjoy the Star Wars prequels while it lasts, because soon you will start to see Anakin for the whiny bastard he truly is and fall in love with Han. Also, don‘t cry because Tokio Hotel are not an item any more, you just haven‘t met One Direction yet. Also, the Sorting Hat puts you into Slytherin. Don‘t let it ruin your day, Draco is going to turn out so much hotter than Harry!

Unfortunately, 15-year old me, we have still not published our bestselling novel or saved the world from evil or married a prince. But we are in a good place. The kind of good place where on some days we go swimming in the Carribean, while on others the best thing that happens is somebody telling us that our dress is pretty. We are pretty amazing, you and I.

With love,
23-Year Old Me

Shit I Bought in London

Last week I was fortunate enough to visit London again. I went with my gorgeous friend Anna who you can find on her blog: www.tinytrinket.wordpress.com. It‘s a lovely little internet niche and you should totes have a look!

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Because we have both visited England‘s capital a bunch of times we did hardly any sightseeing. Instead we drank lots of tea, ate cupcakes, went for strolls and got stuck in the shops. I‘m not much of a shopper when it comes to clothes, shoes and handbags. So when Anna tried on coats and blouses I checked out Primark‘s sock section; we went inside Topshop three times, but to even things out I dragged Anna to the Disney Store. So, as you can guess, most of the stuff I bought is utterly useless and unnecessary – but I just felt the physical need to stuff my suitcase with all the overpriced rubbish I could possibly find. Not. Regretting. Anything.

Princess Leia Mug

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I can‘t even begin to tell you just how excited I am about this mug! I mean, just look at the buns! Aren‘t they fabulous?!

Giant Crumpets

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I also bought regular ones, of course, but I could not resist the temptation of one massive chunk of happiness!

The Iron Trial (by Cassandra Clare & Holly Black)

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It was raining and we found shelter inside a Waterstones store, and oops-a-daisy I ended up buying a shitty YA Harry Potter rip-off with a romance twist, and I‘m really looking forward to reading it!

Harry Potter Jandals

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Looking back, I seriously can‘t remember why I bought these. I suppose I saw them and just held on to them without even checking the size.

Postcards

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Did I mention my love for crumpets? And check out this hamster, he‘s a real hero!

William & Kate Mug

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Strictly speaking this is some Shit-I-bought-in-Brighton-last-summer item, but it‘s terrible enough to get a mention here. I pretty much just scanned all the souvenir shops for the most dreadful mug and then bought it for myself. I greatly enjoy drinking out of it, though. It gives me a sensation of roalty.

Socks

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I have this very weird obsession with socks. I buy socks whenever I‘m bored because I have to wait for a train or someone is late meeting me. At least they keep my feet warm, so they are not completely useless.

Rapunzel Plush Doll

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Another weird thing I do is collect plushy Disney Princess dolls. Basically, everytime someone I know goes somewhere they have a Disney Store they have to bring me back one of these dolls.

Aluminium Foil

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There are cats on this foil. Sandwiches will never taste the same again!

Hummingbird Bakery Cupcake

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I am a massive fan of the Hummingbird Bakery. I own two of their books, they make beautiful cupcakes and cakes and all other sorts of edible things. So naturally, when we passed one of their stores I had to go inside and treat myself. I bought their Blackbottom Cupcake which, technically, was absolutely delicious. But because we‘d just had a big lunch fifteen minutes before I was still stuffed. So for a day and a half I carried around a half eaten cupcake in the hope to eventually finishing it. Which I did, but by that time it was squashed.

I‘m going to end this list here, mainly because I do not want to appear like some weirdo who can‘t control herself. But also because I‘m stuck with the flu and looking at a screen for too long makes me all dizzy. I hope everyone‘s been having a lovely weekend!

Lots of love from the roots of my heart!
xxx

Ps. I ALMOST FORGOT! Remember how I went to Hannover a little while ago? Well, Inga made a small video (because she is that awesome) and that‘s my sole reason for creating a Youtube channel, so if you have three minutes to spare have a look at it!

Sexy Books: The Empire Strikes Back by Donald F. Glut

Just read: Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back by Donald F. Glut.

I wasn‘t going to talk about this book, I really wasn‘t because, you know, it‘s a novelisation! But then I read it and as far as novelisations go (which, btw, isn‘t very far at all) it was really quite okay. In fact, it‘s the okayest novelisation I have read in a long time!

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I‘m sure everybody knows what Star Wars is about, but I‘ll give you the blurb anyway, if only because I love the word blurb.

«Though the Rebel Alliance won a significant battle, the war against the Empire has only just begun.
Several months have passed, and the Rebels have established a hidden outpost on the frozen wasteland of Hoth. But even on that icy backwater planet, they cannot escape the evil Darth Vader‘s notice for long.
Soon Luke, Han, Princess Leia, and their faithful companions will be forced to flee, scattering in all direction – with the Dark Lord‘s minions in fevered pursuit…»

I have a pretty clear image what «the Dark Lord‘s minions» look like, and the internet has not failed me! It just takes the edge off the entire saga a bit when THIS is what stormtroopers really look like!

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But moving on! Novelisations always have that exciting feature of telling you a little something that isn‘t included in the movie, and there are always small surprises, like a variation in dialogue or a change of action; many things that might not work in a movie, can happen still between te pages of a book. And besides, the book doesn‘t have to be incredibly good because all it does is still my inner geeky needs. And this one certainly did!

What I loved most, of course, was that there is some extended action between Han and Leia. C-3PO doesn‘t interrupt their kiss and that actually makes the entire scene more endearing. My favourite thing about the book, however, is the fact that Leia calls Han «Hot Shot» – repeatedly so!

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Leia has even more jazz in this book version than she already does in the movies, which I absolutely love. Still, my favourite part of the book has got to be when they settle in Cloud City and Han tries to win her over:

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Of course the book isn‘t just a sloppy Han-Leia fanfiction novel, it covers all the fun parts that we love in the film as well. It‘s just that Luke never call Yoda a «Hot Shot», or he might have got a bigger mention here!

Have a lovely (snowy?) afternoon!
Lots of love from the roots of my heart!
xxx

Blogmas (Day 18) – May the Force be with You

Tadatadaaaaaaaa Taaa! Tadadataaaaataa! Tadadataaaa Taaaaa! Tadaddataaaa!

Folks, we have a problem. I’m supposed to be writing about a jolly Christmas memory, but I have just seen the new Star Wars movie and it was so spectacular that I won’t be able to talk about much else for the next months. So, I’ll just be cheating and make this my favourite Christmas Memory… does that count? Just a little? I don’t want to spoil the film for anybody, but I really need to discuss this shit right now or I’ll burst. 

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Source: http://www.etsy.com

First off, for a Disney movie a crap load of people die. What’s that all about? I got no warning whatsoever when I went to Disneyland last summer!

Then, let us all appreciate the fabulous volume of Ben Solo’s hair. What conditioner’s he using? And is it only available in a Galaxy Far Far Away or can I order it online? Because, seriously, he looks glorious!

Source: www.vanityfair.com
Source: http://www.vanityfair.com

Talking of Ben Solo, Han and Leia really suck at parenting. My parents raised us with their Laissez-Faire policy, and my siblings and I have never been tempted to blow up any solar systems. And Han and Leia really only have one child, why didn’t they just spoil him rotten and got him every stupid toy he wanted before he snapped?

And then, can someone please explain why everybody’s so trusting? «Hey, I’m a Stormtrooper and I hate my job!» – «Sure! Nice to meet you!» How does Poe know Finn wasn’t a lying Stormtrooper? How?

Also, why are the Dark Side’s vessels always so ill maintained (hello! you can physically lift up the floor by hand!), yet the Millennium Falcon works effortlessly after having been neglected for years?!

All of that aside – OMG HOW PRETTY IS DAISY RIDLEY! I loved her from the very first moment, she is one super protagonist, and where can I get her action figure, please?!

Source: www.complexmagazine.tumblr.com
Source: http://www.complexmagazine.tumblr.com

As you can probably gather, I was absolutely smitten by the cinematic spectacle I just witnessed. The theatre was filled with devoted Star Wars fans who started shushing everybody even before the film had actually started, and they clapped once the end credits started rolling, and Harrison Ford is still hot, and I cried a little at the beginning when the theme music came on. 

In short: Go see Star Wars VII, because it is life changing!
Lots of love from the roots of my heart!
xxx

Don’t forget to say hi to Anna who is not a Star Wars fan and still sat through the entire movie with me! You find her on http://www.tinytrinket.wordpress.com