SHADOWHUNTERS: a rant/loveletter

CAUTION: THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS. BIG FAT ONES.
DON’T SAY I DIDN’T, SAY I DIDN’T WARN YA!

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It has been out in the open for over a year now, so I think it’s about time I spill my emotions: SHADOWHUNTERS. It’s a thing. Oh my, it’s a thing!


I have loved the Mortal Instruments series from day 1 – I can think of at least five people who had to read the books because of me. Literally, it was the only thing I talked about for months. It was Jace-this, Jace-that, and don’t you think Jace and Clary are purrfect for each other! And even when the series became annoying (I threw book six against the wall at some point, and yes, that did happen), and repetitive, and angsty, I stuck with it. Because even when those books are bad, they’re still pretty good. Like Belgian waffles with chocolate ice cream and smarties sprinkled on top. Pretty much the same goes for the latest movie adaption on Netflix: It’s a terrible Belgian waffle, but it’s still a Belgian waffle!

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There are so many things disturbingly wrong with this series, I can’t even– I’m okay. *takes deep breath* Oookaay.

The first thing I will never understand is why producers don’t just stick to the original story. IT’S A GOOD STORY! See, I thought series one would equal book one, and so on, but boy, was I mistaken! Series one equals the first page of book one, the third chapter of book two, the end of book five, and the middle of book four. And in that order, too! ARE YOU TRYING TO MAKE ME HATE YOU?!

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And also: WHY DOES SIMON NOT GET TURNED INTO A STUPID RAT?! I loved that scene in the book, but neither the original movie nor the series has him turned into an animal. But sure, the flying motorcycle they take!

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Then there is Magnus Bane: Everyone – he’s throwing a party for his cat. That’s how he’s introduced. He doesn’t care about the stupid Mortal Cup, he’s not running from Valentine, HE’S PARTYING!

And since we’re right on topic: What the hell, Alec? Leaving a girl at the altar, that’s just too predictable. We all get his sense of duty, but come on! And what’s with the everlasting hate for Clary? Just give it a rest already.

Also, why is Luke not the owner of a bookshop?

And where is Sebastian in this weird mixed up world?

And why the *insert apropriate swear word* does Jocelyn die? Why was she back so soon? It wasn’t supposed to be easy waking her up after she took that potion. That was kind of the point, no?

Finally, where is the Jace I imagined? I’ve always pictured him to be something between Alex Pettyfer and Matt Czuchry with just a touch of Fra Fee; a very sweet looking, yet tough guy, who is hilariously sarcastic and self-indulged. Instead we were given someone who looks and acts like the member of a gang whose entire point of existence is beating the life out of anyone coming their way.

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Oh, and wait – a round of applause for the excellent quick wit of Clarissa Fray. Red haired, pale, freckled Clary asks a black Luke whether he is her real father. Maybe Magnus took a thought too many from her brain when treating her. #justsaying

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But all of this is nothing compared to the emotional damage you carry away once you start LOVING THE SHOW! It’s by far better than the original motion picture, and I think this has largely to do with the choice of actors. They are more than perfect in their roles, even Dominic Sherwood has grown on me, and I mean, just look at the Lightwoods.

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Look at them.

I never thought Alexander Lightwood’s beauty would one day cause my heart to break. DON’T WE ALL UNDERSTAND MAGNUS NOW? And on that note, HOW IS JACE NOT TURNING GAY? #listofthingsicantwrapmyheadaround

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 And while I find it irritating that the plot doesn’t follow the original story line, it does add a certain suspense to the series. Things happen very unexpectedly, and I hate to admit it, but I want to know what happens next! Although, to be honest, most of the time it’s really the relationship between Magnus and Alec that has me keep watching. Have I mentioned that Matthew Daddario has the FACE OF AN ANGEL? It’s too beautiful for words!

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To sum it up: SHADOWHUNTERS is not a good show on so many levels, but it’s one that you’ll ultimately come to love. It takes you right back into the world of Nephilim and vampires and warlocks, and you’ll fall for Jace and Clary all over again. I mean, yes, there is that annoying background music that tries to draw out suspense CONSTANTLY, and the dialogues are… well, they are what they are. But then Magnus calls Clary „Biscuit“, and people kiss in every episode, and THIS SHOW MAKES THE WORLD STOP TURNING!

This show will destroy you.

You’ll love it.

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Oh You Pretty Chitty Bang Bang

Last sunday I went to Sheffield to see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang live on stage. It’s a show I’ve wanted to see ever since I went through a hardcore Dick van Dyke phase – hello! He’s the Harrison Ford of children’s movies! He’s not in the show, of course, but he starred in the 1968-movie, and that was reason enough for me to get into it.

The story is about the inventor Caractacus Potts and his two young children, Jeremy and Jemima, whose super-fast car, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (because that’s the sound it makes!), is the object of desire of Vulgaria’s Baron Bomburst. When the Baron kidnaps Granpa Potts the Potts family comes to his rescue, along with the beautiful Truly Srumptious – but arriving in Vulgaria they find out that the Baron and his wife detest children and that Jeremy and Jemima are in great danger of being abducted by the hideous Child Catcher.

'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' Tour

I am really not a cars kind of person, but the story just had me. It’s bit like Grease for children. And I’ll admit the first time they started the car and it made this awful sound, my mind went straight into thinking, THAT’S AIR POLLUTION! SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT! But then how could I resist a car that only runs when you say «PLeeeeaaaase!»

Only how you convince a child after seeing the show that the Child Catcher is not real, I shall never know. He seemed pretty convincing to me, and whenever his track comes up on my iPod i press skip. Eergh, everytime I hear him go «Childreeeeen!» I physically shudder.

'Chitty Chitty Bang Bang' Tour

To say I enjoyed the show is a slight understatement. I absolutely loved it! It’s weird and loud and bright, and oh my, the costumes! Unlike the film, the show is set in a post-World-War-I era, so everything’s a bit more colourful and funky. What I was most impressed with, though, were the child actors. Lucy and Henry, who played the roles of Jemima and Jeremy Potts, were in every way a delight to look at! They played their parts so well and with so much heart. I simply cannot imagine the effort the producers of the show had to put into training these kids – how do you get them to stay concentrated, and how do you prevent them from forgetting their lines in stage fright? They have to act and sing and dance, sometimes everything at once, and yet they didn’t screw up once.

Everytime I watch a live musical I am freshly impressed by the actors. They’re all professionals, so as well I should be of course – but they never cease to amaze me. Lee Mead and Carrie Hope Fletcher make such a wonderful pair with their curly hair and quirkie costumes, and they make it incredibly hard to imagine any other actor taking over the role. Actually, Carrie Fletcher could just change her name to Truly Scrumptious and pull it off. You look at her and think, Hang on – she’s not the candy maker’s daughter?!

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This show makes me consider getting my driver’s licence just so I’d be legally allowed to steer a flying car! If you have the chance to see the show, please go watch it! What a happy time you’ll spend! It’s beautifully done, it’s laugh-out-loud funny, and it’s romantic – it’s everthing I need in a stage production; blast it, it’s everything I need in life!

All the pictures featured in this post I downloaded from the musical’s website!