Tadatadaaaaaaaa Taaa! Tadadataaaaataa! Tadadataaaa Taaaaa! Tadaddataaaa!
Folks, we have a problem. I’m supposed to be writing about a jolly Christmas memory, but I have just seen the new Star Wars movie and it was so spectacular that I won’t be able to talk about much else for the next months. So, I’ll just be cheating and make this my favourite Christmas Memory… does that count? Just a little? I don’t want to spoil the film for anybody, but I really need to discuss this shit right now or I’ll burst.
First off, for a Disney movie a crap load of people die. What’s that all about? I got no warning whatsoever when I went to Disneyland last summer!
Then, let us all appreciate the fabulous volume of Ben Solo’s hair. What conditioner’s he using? And is it only available in a Galaxy Far Far Away or can I order it online? Because, seriously, he looks glorious!
Talking of Ben Solo, Han and Leia really suck at parenting. My parents raised us with their Laissez-Faire policy, and my siblings and I have never been tempted to blow up any solar systems. And Han and Leia really only have one child, why didn’t they just spoil him rotten and got him every stupid toy he wanted before he snapped?
And then, can someone please explain why everybody’s so trusting? «Hey, I’m a Stormtrooper and I hate my job!» – «Sure! Nice to meet you!» How does Poe know Finn wasn’t a lying Stormtrooper? How?
Also, why are the Dark Side’s vessels always so ill maintained (hello! you can physically lift up the floor by hand!), yet the Millennium Falcon works effortlessly after having been neglected for years?!
All of that aside – OMG HOW PRETTY IS DAISY RIDLEY! I loved her from the very first moment, she is one super protagonist, and where can I get her action figure, please?!
As you can probably gather, I was absolutely smitten by the cinematic spectacle I just witnessed. The theatre was filled with devoted Star Wars fans who started shushing everybody even before the film had actually started, and they clapped once the end credits started rolling, and Harrison Ford is still hot, and I cried a little at the beginning when the theme music came on.
In short: Go see Star Wars VII, because it is life changing!
Lots of love from the roots of my heart!
Don’t forget to say hi to Anna who is not a Star Wars fan and still sat through the entire movie with me! You find her on http://www.tinytrinket.wordpress.com