Blogmas (Day 16) – «It’s Going To Be Okay»

Today I was initially going to write about my Christmas shopping, but alas I left my purse at home this afternoon, and although the Swiss are very generous, not even my boss would let me have stuff for free. But that’s okay, because this time last year I was feeling a bit nostalgic and I wrote a poem about Honduras and the book shop I’m working at. Maybe it’s being around books that always makes me miss things, but I’m in that same sort of state at the moment, and I hope you like my poem.

I miss a lot of things.

I miss going to work for that first time last year.
I miss the smell of smoke and sweat and cardboard boxes in the hallway.
I miss the way my feet hurt every night.

I’m still working there now.

But it’s not the same.
It’s not the «I never want to leave this place.»
It’s more.
It’s less.

My feet still hurt.

I miss seeing Honduras from above.
For the first time.
I miss the feeling of «It’s going to be okay.»
Because it really was, you know?

I miss the song
Chim-Chim-Chiminike!
All day long.
I wanted to listen to it forever.
I didn’t want to lose it.
That song.
It was mine.

I miss the voices.
«Hola Gringa!»
The way they could carress my name.
Every Hello came with a hug.
Every hug lasted a lifetime.
Like the song.

Everybody hated the song btw.

I miss the dancing.
I hate dancing
But I was taught to love it.
Hands touching hands.
Lips touching lips.
It was a fairy tale.

But a slutty one.

I miss that side of me.
The «It’s going to be okay» side.
Because it really was, you know?

«One day I’m going to marry you.»
«Okay.»
It’s a promise
That we’ll never keep.
But we mean it
Nevertheless.

I miss eating
Until I need new pants.

«When are you leaving?»
«Never.»

I miss
Myself.

Just a little.
The me that knew
That it was going to be okay.

Because it really was, you know?

Lots of Love from the Roots of my Heart!
xxx

Again, I lost track of what Anna’ll be writing about tonight. Let’s have a look together, shall we? Her blog is right here under http://www.tinytrinket.wordpress.com

 

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I get distracted… A LOT!

Those of you who have read my past blog posts will have gathered that my life has been quite busy recently. I have been out and about every weekend attending parties and other social events.

So seeing as I now have a couple of days without any plans I decided to use the time to write on a paper I have to hand in by the end of the break. Being a history major comes with a lot of reading and writing – not just the dissertation at the end of your studies, you‘re expected to write smaller analysises before that. So last week I sent the first one to my supervisor but instead of going out to celebrate this minor achievement, I stayed at my desk and started the entire process all over. After a couple of panicky e-mails to my supervisor yesterday as to how I should possibly figure out a main thesis, he patiently reminded me that we had already discussed this and that if I just had a look at my notes I would find that I had a solid thesis and only needed to start writing. To me, this is always the scariest part of the writing process: the actual writing. I spend weeks just reading and taking notes and thinking up good sentences, and whenever I finally sit down in front of my computer I feel so utterly lost. It‘s like packing for a long holiday when you can‘t shake off the feeling that you‘ve forgotten something very important. So today I put on my onesie and started writing an introduction but halfway through I realised that it was so terrible I opened a new document and wrote something even more dreadful, and after the third go I just opened up the first one again.

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I love writing more than anything and it‘s definitely something I want to some day do for a living – but the image people have of me writing is just not true. Usually when I talk about having to write a paper or article my friends go, „But this is so easy for you – you‘ll have that written in no time!“ Well, duh! I spend hours staring into the screen with my mind going  Write – Write something – Write ANYTHING – Write… maybe I should put on a bra, just to feel a bit more business-like – How would J.K. put this? – Come on, you little bitch, write! – ooh, a Facebook notification! – Aw, a puppy! – Okay, write! – I‘M BLUE DABBA-DEE-DABBA-DAH!

It is fair to say that I get easily distracted! Ironically enough I found this video by Giovanna Fletcher earlier today, and I must admit I went straight for the cupboard to dig for Nutella!

If anyone has a word of advice, I‘ll gladly take it! The only thing I successfully managed to do was to put a picture of Matt Smith on the wall that insists on me writing; to be honest, it scares me a little! And, I mean, I make progress; I‘m sure my supervisor will be very happy to hear that I have so far managed to quote one book, namely Groovy Greeks by Terry Deary. Sounds academic enough, right?

Lots of love from the roots of my heart!
xxx

Sexy Books: The Mime Order

Just read: The Mime Order by Samantha Shannon.
First of all, can we just appreciate how immensly talented Samantha Shannon is? Going through her bio, I can’t help but feel like I’ve accomplished absolutely nothing! Her first novel, The Bone Season, came out in 2013 and it has already been translated into 28 languages, is on various bestseller lists, was named “Book of the year” by a number of websites and magazines and film rights have already been sold. Oh, and she’s only a year older than me. This just left my mouth wide open for a day and a night. And another day. And another night.
I still haven’t been able to close it.

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The Mime Order is AMAZING! I was not able to close it at all. Even during dinner I had to keep it next to me so I could touch it. I’m weird like that.
It’s the sequel to The Bone Season. After Paige has escaped the colony of Sheol I she gathers up her life as Jaxon Hall’s mollisher in the underground of London again, trying to figure out how to stop the Rephaim, a foreign species from the Netherworld, from taking over the human world.
Paige is a brilliant protagonist, very strong and cool, a revolutionary – but she’s also sort of lovable and has a soft spot for the people she loves. The entire story is so thrilling and full of adrenaline, making even the reader feel somewhat breatless after what Paige goes through. And oh, the love story! There’s not even much of one, but the few pages you do get it, it’s entrancing!

Just look at the way she writes, isn’t it beautiful? And yes, sorry if there’s minor spoilers in here!

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Samantha Shannon, thank you so much for writing this absolutely brilliant piece of work! I’m still so awestruck, I just want everyone else to read it, too!

Lots of love!
xxx